Finding Peace In Solitude


   There are moments when life gets overly complicated and there is a need to just get away from the stress.  I was never the type of person who was able to make friends easy or express myself when I felt overwhelmed.  I often just held in my feelings and exploded when I couldn’t take anymore.  I was that person who would start a conversation or a friendship and just disappear for a long time.  It wasn’t until a point in my life that I had decided to cut myself off from the world for 3 years of my life.  I had made up my mind that people were not worth talking to, that I was too strange to talk to others, and that others could not understand me when I spoke.  Once I cut myself off, I remained isolated.  Not engaging in any activities or having conversations with anyone, not even my own family.  My only thought was “what’s the point of trying?”
     Reflecting on this, I am grateful I took the time to spend time in solitude.  Yes, it was an extreme case because the only time that I would leave my room was to be alone in nature. However, I was able to get to know myself better-my strengths and my flaws and become comfortable with them.  Each day, I began meditating, traveling on a journey inside my own mind to confront myself and what I had become at the time.  I had written a piece that chronicled my journey through every emotion that was present.  Each emotion was a battle to face. Each meditation was a testament to how I wanted to get more in touch with myself no matter how negative the monsters were inside my own mind.  I was able to reflect on these and realize just how many faces I had shown to the world over the course of my life. 
     Now, I am currently spending time with my fiancé and the blues/folk/Americano group The Outcrops in the Adirondacks.  I never thought I would enjoy solitude around other people, and it is a testament to how far I have progressed on my journey of introspection.  I realize the perks of spending time reflecting in solitude and nature are the ability to challenge yourself to make yourself stronger in all assets, not just mentally or spiritually.  Being able to become one with yourself reminds me of the feeling of being one with nature.  It is blissful and worth the journey.  I encourage everyone to take moments to be in solitude to just be and feel.  Write down your journey and what you have learned.  Only then can you better understand yourself.  I was able to write down my strengths and flaws and confront the worst aspects of myself in order to grow.  This isn’t always easy. But it is always worth the journey!

“The Japanese say we have 3 faces.  The first you show to the world, the second you show to your family, and the last you never show to anyone.  This last face is the truest reflection of who you are.”

Which face do you use the most?




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