When Is It Enough?

Our lives are in moments.  This means that they are fleeting.  I always hear others tell me, "I would rather be happy, when will it be enough? I don't want to ask for help." I never thought much about this question until recently.  I am a firm believer of fighting for the things you want and asking for help only if it is absolutely necessary.  However, I'm also a hypocrite.
I must admit that all my life, I rarely asked for help. I would much rather figure it out on my own.  No matter how long it took, I would always try to work around the situation I was given.  Perhaps this is due to my anxiety, or maybe it's me trying to take control of being independent instead of always having to lean on another individual.
I have never been the type of person to ask for help.  This is both good and bad.  I acknowledge that there are times that asking for help seems like nothing.  But in my mind, I see it as a way to burden the other person without trying to.  I am trying to keep in good standing with those around me. I feel that I fall short when I ask for help for something that is trivial.  This impacts my ability to ask for help on larger issues.  If I can't even ask for help on something as small as a price for an item, how could I ever ask for help with something as large as helping save myself from myself? 

So, I ask the question to you all. How do you save yourself from yourself? When is it enough?



     I wrote the above few paragraphs back in August of 2019, and I guess I hadn’t figured it out at that time, so I left it as a draft. But, now in December of 2020 I’m in a different place, with a very different mindset rather, with the world, but most importantly, with myself. While we will never really know the answer to these questions, my answer is to look inward to yourself. So, I guess I actually do know the answer.

     Looking back, there are so many things I would tell myself back in 2019 that I know the answers to now in 2020. My mentality about “problems” has changed drastically, and this affects the way I see myself and the way I interact with others, and, of course, it affects my answer to the questions I have posed. Take or leave it, I think it’s a positive step. First, hear me out to figure out what I’m trying to say. You with me so far? Okay, here we go. 

     There are no such things as problems. YES. Read this sentence again. There are no such things as problems. There are only solutions that did not necessarily work. I know what you might be thinking. I have a ton of problems. Well, if you want to address them as such, they will remain a problem and stick with you longer than if you look at them as solutions that did not necessarily work for another individual or for yourself. Have you ever considered that there was a solution another person couldn’t figure out and maybe they are approaching you for help? Maybe they want to hear your solution to the initial solution that just never worked for them. Sometimes, even we turn to ourselves for the answers, but we address them as problems and find a temporary solution for the previous solution that was posed to us in the first place.

 

For me I break it down into different levels of understanding or realization.

 

1.    The Acknowledgement 

2.    The ‘aha’ moment 

3.    The Realization

 

Still with me? I promise these levels tie into my questions. But let me explain before I tie it all together. 

 

These levels of acknowledgement actually tie into our mentality about problems and solutions. Here’s how. 

 

The first level- I call it “The Acknowledgement”- means that you acknowledge that a solution has failed (often deeming it a problem) and do not understand it. So, in this stage you are probably angry or frazzled. 

 

The second level- I call it “The ‘aha’ moment”- means that that you found some sort of a solution. But this solution, hate to break it to you, is usually temporary. We understand the acknowledgement, but we do not accept it for what it actually is. It’s a surface level of a spurt of happiness or relief thinking that we have figured it out. 

 

The final stage- I call it “The Realization” and it is the most important- comes from deep within ourselves. You get to this stage by channeling through the pain from the previous two. You start to see everything differently and deeply realize. In other words, you realize your place in the solution and figure out a better way to express it or make it come to fruition.   

 

So…

How do you save yourself from yourself? 
By working through all the different solutions that are presented to you no matter how painful. Then you can save yourself by understanding it and finding ways to make that solution new and better. 

 

When is enough enough? 

Enough is enough when you deem it that by realizing it’s enough. Only through understanding yourself and your place within the world along with your goals can you think clearer and realize … you’ve had enough.  

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